Good in-laws are key to success in a relationship

If you are about to get married, have a closer look at your to-be-spouse’s family. Your in-laws will be a big part of your life and your children’s. They will play roles such as grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, etc.

So if your in-laws are people who put your children’s interests before anything else, you are set for life.

While no one can magically select a family group that will be a class act, it’s important to review the in-laws’ actions when you marry into a family. Your potential mate learned a lot of behaviours from these folks.

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At the very minimum, you can choose how close you want to live to them. And, you can set boundaries with your time and how you share information with them.

These questions can help you take a better look:

— Is gossip prevalent? Marrying into a group that makes a lot of unkind remarks isn’t good. If gossip is gold to them, they will try to collect dirt on you.

— Is there a lot of infighting in the clan? Jealousy, misunderstandings and yelling aren’t good.

— How would your future children regard these people? Would your children, as teenagers and adults, feel proud to call them family?

Mentally healthy families are usually very much alike. They are at ease with each other, supportive of each other, and find joy in eating meals together and just spending time together.

Do pay attention to family members who make crude remarks, speak disrespectfully about neighbours or people in general and refuse to engage in meaningful conversations.

Do they discuss politics with a decent amount of thoughtfulness? How anyone treats someone they strongly disagree with tells you a lot. Language is a potent magnifying glass about we regard people and society in general.

If they have a strong sense of humour, when things are on shaky ground, they will not be overly harsh.