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Shaadaab S. Bakht: No room for failings
August 24, 2018
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ON PARENTS 


We, as parents, mustn’t ever forget that our children look up to us and see us as symbols of good deeds. One unprincipled act could leave them heartbroken, if not wrecked for ever, because parents and their children “are timed by a common pulse.”

Allow me a real example. Years ago when we were young, and pronouncedly fidgety at all levels, and didn’t need the salon’s help to make us acceptable, a friend told us that he didn’t want his father’s financial assistance to go abroad for higher studies.

At that point we (a lot of us) didn’t really appreciate his moral vanity. That is what we had thought then having been washed up day in and day out by the value of a career and not the path we treaded in search of such a career or what the world thought was a career. (Because if you ask me, there’s nothing called a career. What really matters is success.

And real success, it has no blueprint. We have fabulous prime ministers, who never went to universities to study politics; we have absolute geniuses, who are college dropouts; we have miserable cooks, who own famous restaurants and we have extremely powerful game-changing socialites, whose only claim to that position is a salubrious and curvaceous frame, something for which they can’t even take full credit. And, of course, we can always add a Ronaldo or a Tendulkar to the list.)

She sees him as a fallen human, ethically impaired, and a soiled parent
Coming back to our friend. When we pressed him for the reason behind his refusal to accept his father’s help, he found time to discuss the reason. Like all young people he got emotional while telling us that the money was made in a questionable manner and he didn’t want to build his life on tainted wealth. That wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction, but a well-thought out decision. He couldn’t pursue what he fancied and remained upset with his dad till the latter’s last day. He criticised his mum for supporting his dad.

The trigger for this discussion is a daughter of Paul Manafort, Trump’s election campaigner. Going by what she has said about him, she sees him as a fallen human, ethically impaired, and a soiled parent. “He is a sick f---ing tyrant,” the woman appears to have said to someone about her father. “And we keep showing up and dancing for him...We just keep showing up and eating the lobster. Nothing changes.”

Hackers broke into Manafort’s daughter’s iPhone and published four years’ worth of purported text messages — roughly 300,000 messages — on the dark web, an encrypted network that can be accessed only with a special browser.

Manafort confirmed that his daughter’s account had been hacked, and he corroborated some exchanges.

In a series of texts that appear to have been sent by his daughter to her sister, said their father had “no moral or legal compass.”

“Don’t fool yourself,” she wrote to her sister, according to the texts. “That money we have is blood money.”

One can understand her disgust just the way we understood our friend’s anguish. It wasn’t easy for him even for a day.

Because if the world tells me my father is bad, I will defend him, but when I will tell myself that he is not what I wanted him to be, life in a moment will become an uncompromising noose, where every strand will oblige.
 
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