A guide to healing emotional pain

Barton Goldsmith

I often see the signs of healing in my patients long before they do, and it’s not that I have a therapeutic sixth sense.

While little healing signs may feel insignificant to the person dealing with emotional issues, they are actually big green flags to the outside observer. Learning to recognise them in yourself can help you take more steps in the right direction.

A good therapist who sees the signs will tell you, “You may not feel it yet, but I see you getting better.” That reassurance can mean the difference between feeling better about yourself and wondering how you are doing. If your counsellor doesn’t offer you a progress report, ask for one.

Emotional healing is a little like climbing a difficult flight of stairs with some bumps along the way. You go up a few, then maybe pause or take a step backward, and then climb a few more.

The problem is that the down moments can feel insurmountable to someone who has been traumatised or suffers from painful mood swings, but these are mere moments that you will overcome sooner than your fears would have you believe. Check it out. Look at how you handle these tough moments.

Do you try to push them down, or do you allow them to surface and just fade away?

Some of the subtle signs of emotional healing are fairly normal little actions that you may do unconsciously.

• Music is one of the first things that people start to enjoy again when they begin their healing process. You might find yourself singing along with the radio in the car or at home. Music brings joy, and the more you listen and sing, the more joy you are letting in.

• There are a lot of ways of running and hiding from vexing feelings. Staying in bed until noon (or all day), because you are anxious or depressed, is a common way of dealing with the discomfort. As normal sleeping patterns return, it means that your body and mind are getting back in sync with each other.

• If you are having trouble sleeping, set up regular sleeping and wake-up times. Taking a nap during the day may seem to relieve you from your troubles for a couple of hours, but that nap could throw off your resting rhythms, and you could be up much of the night fretting, because your body doesn’t need more sleep.

• Allowing more love into your life is another sign of emotional healing. Friends and family are the bedrock of well-being, so avoid spending too much time by yourself when you’re feeling down. I am not suggesting that you throw a party (though that’s not a bad idea), but you can visit with friends and family, and talk and text. Reaching out or responding to those you love is another sign you are getting yourself back together.

By taking steps in the right direction, you can encourage emotional healing. The sooner you get started the better. Even if you don’t recognise the healing signs at first, trust they will come.

Tribune News Service