Location’s role considered important in relationship

Saratu Abubakar, Staff Reporter

Part of the things that make life worthwhile for some people is being married and having a family. The coming together of two people to be one under certain laws is what marriage often means. Often, married people tend to live together.

People with marriage intent are advised to have various conversations before getting married. From compatibility, blood group, source of income, religion and others. One important topic is location.

Where would we live after we get married?

From career reasons, standard of living and wanting to be around loved ones, some young women express their opinion about moving after getting married.

For people that have built a career in certain location, moving is a feasible option.

“I plan on starting to build my career, it will be very difficult to leave and start afresh, if the husband I end up marrying isn’t living where I am,” said a respondent.

For another young woman, the determiner is the prospect of her career in the new location

“If I am moving, in this new place what is there for me? I mean, my life can’t stop because I am getting married.”

For other people the possibility of the new location amplifying their career is very important, long-distance relationship is a viable option for some.

Another determiner is the timing of the marriage for some respondents.

“At this point I haven’t established anything yet (career-wise). So, I can move but in the future I would have to consider my career, so we might have to move to somewhere suitable for both of us then,” said another woman.

In the opinion of others, it is important that the new location meets up or is above their current location in terms of living standard.

“It depends on the location. It depends on how interested I am in developing my career, if my career from the start is not excelling then I can move wherever. Career won’t be the reason to limit me from moving, it will probably be standard of living,’’ added another.

“It depends on how interested I am in developing my career. Career won’t be the reason to limit me from moving, it will probably be standard of living,’’ added another.

Deciding to be with someone and hoping to create a new family doesn’t mean one discard parents, siblings and friends. Therefore, proximity of the new location to that of their loved ones is the determiner in making the decision for this woman.  

“For me it actually isn’t a deal breaker. I’d move anywhere with him if I have to. As long as he is supportive and understanding whenever I ask to go back home to see my family.”

For some respondents, an important aspect of marriage is living together with their partner, irrespective of the location.

According to this woman, there is nothing more important than living together.

 “Being with your soul mate is all that matters,” she said.  

Location is not a deal-breaker for another woman, what is important is being with someone that aligns with her goal in life. Therefore, to move or not to move would be an easy decision to make.

“As far as you think that person is right, then I believe it shouldn’t be. You two should have a basic understanding and find a solution that will align for you both. You can’t keep on rejecting good people because you don’t want to move,” she added.

Every woman has different things she is chasing in life. For some women nothing is more fulfilling than creating a family, climbing the ladder of success in their chosen career is what matters for some and for others it is the two.

The most important thing is figuring out what works for you, while keeping an open mind. Nothing in life is constant, the place that matters so much to you today might be a nightmare in a few years. However, it is easy to fall into a limbo when you move to a new place and that can result in you losing yourself and shunning your goals.

As you go into 2020, hoping to find a partner or settle down with your existing partner, don’t forget to ask important questions.