Virtue of gratitude must be part of children’s upbringing

Mariecar Jara-Puyod, Senior Reporter

While some do not expect to receive a “thank you,” a group of women said it is good manners and right conduct, and a sign of good breeding to utter these two words. They said the virtue of gratitude must be part of childrearing and childcare.

These women claimed a sincere verbalized “thank you” is enough. Some admitted they do get hurt or offended when the assistance they had extended were somehow ignored or left un-appreciated.

Gulf Today got in touch with these women whom she had grown up with, from grade school, for, Sept. 21, has been celebrated as “World Gratitude Day” since 1965. It was an international gathering in Hawaii which decided it would be “a good idea to have one day per year to formally express gratitude and appreciation for the many wonderful things to be found in the world.”

Over at the University of Birmingham (Dubai), Psychology Foundation Programme deputy director Olivia Goncalvez defined gratitude or appreciation as “an emotion that occurs in response to receiving something of value or an act of generosity from another. Studies have shown this can contribute to our well-being.” She pointed out that those two simple words help establish connection as well as re-connection, and, optimism as well as positivity.

Susan Brigida Orendain used to get offended when the person/s she had helped or given something, failed to acknowledge: “But I have learnt to live a life of no expectations. I have practised not to get hurt. My heart gets fuller though when they do say ‘thank you.’ Being (thankful) is pleasing and praising God and that is all that matters.”

Perlette Antonio does not get hurt: “A sincere ‘thank you’ is far greater than a forced one.”

Catherine Hunt expresses her appreciation from the mere simple sentence to a “card depending on the scope of my gratitude.” She gets disappointed when her children forget or fail to prize whatever good act, gift or assistance given them.

Monette does not expect anything from strangers for the “random acts of kindness; it is enough I have done a good deed.” Yet, she at least wants to know if the person she “had mailed gift or left surprises at his/her doorstep got this and how he/she feels.” She believes acknowledgement motivates the giver “to do more acts of kindness and respect.”

Dr Christine Arreola-Lamorena classified a simple “thank you” as good while a “thank you with a smile,” and a “thank you with a handshake or a hug” as the better to best ways, respectively.

Dr Jo Ann Verdadero Salamat said: “I always remind my children to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ These are the most rewarding of all feelings.” Ana Ramirez Santos opined the utterance “should come out naturally.” Marion Cristales-Limbo said expressing gratitude is politeness.

Over in Dubai, Goncalvez stressed that expectations “generally lead to upset and resentment.” She cited four reasons for the failure and forgetfulness to be appreciative.

One, some were not born and raised into it “for a variety of reasons. Two, the act of kindness might not have sunk in, due to the difficult or overwhelming situation or condition. Three, some perceive the assistance as a transaction for which gratitude is uncalled for. Four, some are used to being recipients of goodness they have become un-feeling.

Goncalvez’s advice: “Be empathetic and understanding. Model (gratefulness), they may pick it up. Try not to expect something in return for kindness because then, it becomes a transaction. Express and share how you feel with the person for having taken you for granted.”

Asked to relate gratitude and appreciation to the Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, Goncalvez said that while some are thankful for being fortunate, she added: “It is important to think of things about which one can be grateful to build emotional resilience and appreciate the aspects of life we often take for granted.”

Meanwhile, the Mindhouse start-up on Sunday launched in Dubai an app that helps increase productivity, improve sleep patterns, and reduce stress as well as anxiety brought about by COVID-19. The app allows the user to inquire from an online studio meditation and yoga instructor recommendations for well-being.