Seriously, you’ve got to be kidding

Birjees Hussain

I tell you people are not right in the head. They are willing to hurt themselves just for the fun of it. Or they do not think that what they may be developing will not be usable by quite a few people.

I’m reminded of an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry offered Elaine a bottle of juice. She declined saying that she was so sick of having to shake everything before drinking it. Holding the bottle in his hand Jerry stared at her in disbelief and gently rocked the bottle back and forth and then plonked it down on the counter in front of her. It took two seconds. In other words, how hard is it to shake the bottle?

Why do I mention this, you wonder? Well if you wear shoes with laces and you are a healthy enough individual, bending down to tie your shoelaces shouldn’t be such a big deal. In fact, you should bend down and tie it. It’s a healthy ’exercise’ and, quite frankly, demonstrates how well coordinated you are. But imagine if no one ever bends down to tie their shoelaces? We’d have two scenarios. Either there’d be people tripping over their laces all over the place or they’d be staring down at their smartphone launching some App to do it for them. Apparently one is now developed that will actually tie up your shoelaces?

Anyone see any drawbacks to this? I see how it may be able to help people who may not be able to bend over due to a myriad of health reasons. But if they can’t bend over then they should not buy shoes with laces, and most likely they do not. Moreover, I see multiple issues with the App itself. What if it does not work on certain versions of a smartphone? There are so many Apps out there that are incompatible with lower versions of operating systems. Does that mean that in order to use it you might need to get a phone that has the latest system installed?  

Further, if the App works only if there is an internet connection (because it would have to somehow communicate with your shoelaces) then it’s failed before it starts. A lot of us do not have access to the internet when we’re out and about and use our smartphones only when we have a Wi-Fi connection. What if the App is buggy and fails to open? Or, because it is buggy, it constantly causes your device to freeze? With all these drawbacks, is this sort of App really a great idea? As for those who can bend down and tie their laces but would prefer not to, I ask one questions. How hard is it to bend down and tie your shoelaces? And aside from all this, will the shoes have to be hi-tech too? Or your shoelaces for that matter? How much is that going to set you back? I mean, I ask again, how hard is it really to tie your laces?

Now you remember all those idiot teenagers taking the tide pod challenge? It was all over YouTube and talk shows. How many ended up in casualty due to poisoning? Many had ambulances pull up outside their homes. Then there was the cinnamon powder challenge where teens challenged each other as to who could swallow the most without choking. Take note, ingesting copious amounts of dry cinnamon powder is extremely dangerous. Whilst dashes of cinnamon are great to have in your tea and coffee, choking is not the only hazard here. Swallowing large amounts of the powder can result in pneumonia and other serious respiratory ailments, as was discovered by some of these unsupervised teens. Again, casualty visits.

Then there’s been the hot sauce challenge meaning who can tolerate the hottest sauce, never mind the fact that excess amounts of extremely hot peppers and chilies can actually be dangerous to your health. I was shocked to see this challenge being played out by teenagers on a Disney show. It was meant to be comedic and no one got hurt. But the show was being very, very careless and not genuine. How damaging can excessive amounts of really hot sauce be for your throat and trachaea? Very, but the producers of this comedy didn’t even tackle that hazard.  But who cares, hey? So are you aware that some hot sauce manufacturer has now developed a hot sauce that mimics a bite from a venomous insect! What on earth would possess them to do this? It’s not normal and highly irresponsible. It also has another teen hot sauce challenge written all over it!