When bullies make life miserable for you

Bullies like to terrorise people so that they get scared enough to not say anything whenever the bully does something wrong or even whilst the bullying is in progress.

The bully tactic works only for as long as the person being bulled shows fears. That fear might be expressed broaching the bully whilst he’s doing the wrong thing or, worse while he’s doing the bullying. That fear might manifest itself in the form of not responding to the bully whilst the bullying is in progress and not correcting the bully for all the other things he’s doing that are unacceptable.

A bully can be anyone. In your immediate circle, it can be your boss, your co-worker, your spouse (husband and, yes, the wife), your son or daughter, your best friend, a classmate and even a sibling, whether older or younger than you. It can also be a parent, a neighbour or even your healthcare provider like a nurse or even your GP.

We all get bullied in our lives; at least the majority of us do at one time or another, and while a lot of the bullying lasts for only as long you’re around the bully, there are other bullies from whom you can’t get away so easily, unless you take drastic measures.

For example, school bullies will eventually be out of your lives, either when school ends or chances are when you start to take your optional classes at around 14.

When I was at school, from the age of 11 to around age 13, I was bullied by a group of girls in my form room (referred to as Home Room in the US). In our school, teachers often divided the form room, that often comprised 30 girls, in half so that they were more manageable by the other teachers. They’d do this in accordance with the register which was in alphabetical order. Unfortunately for me, a line across the middle of the register meant I was grouped in with my bullies whose surnames began with letters uncomfortably close to the letter ‘H’. In those classes I was punched in the arms, kicked in the legs and called every racist term you can think of because the ‘clever’ teachers made us sit in alphabetical order which meant my bullies sat on either side of me as well as in front of me and behind me.

One time we were in a science lab with the Bunsen burner on and one of my bullies told me, “I hope you burn yourself .” The chances are that, given half the chance, she would have set my hair or cardigan on fire just to have a laugh.

I told no one of the bullying for fear of being beaten up outside school or one of my sisters being attacked to get to me. This bullying carried on for more than 2 years, that is until I was around 14 when the school system asked us to choose the courses we’d like to take so that we could choose our career path. God helped me because the courses I naturally chose were the ones my bullies avoided like it was their Kryptonite. As a result, my school life improved beyond belief. Therefore, I didn’t need to take any drastic measures and neither did my mum and dad. No reporting to the school principal, no going to the board and no transferring me to another school. I’m sure you know by now that these are called drastic measures.

In life in general, some drastic measures could be leaving a well-paid, stable job because your boss or close working colleague is a jerk and getting in the way of your progress. Or telling who you thought was a good friend to get lost because you now realise he’s a jerk who does not respect you or support you. Or leaving your spouse because he or she is not only a jerk but also dangerous to be around.

Some ties can be cut easily, such as a violation spouse who’s repeatedly landed you in hospital. Not trying to do something about that is hard must critical if you want to live, literally.

Of all the bullying that you have endured in your life, the worst kind is from a sibling. But there are other ties, like in a family comprising siblings and a parent, that are very difficult to just cut off immediately. It can be done, and at some stage it should be done, but it requires a lot of thinking because, whilst you don’t give a hoot about the bully, who might be a sibling, there might be other members in that unit who you need to take into consideration, like maybe a very sick parent.

The question is, how do you do it then? What do you wait for?????