Parenting matters

It requires a lot of nerve and willpower for a parent to mould their kids in this fast-paced era that we are living in. Due to our busy schedules, parents do not have the patience to spend quality time with their blood relations even. Eventually, children might lose interest and get involved in various activities as they might feel that they are not getting moral support from their parents. Parents head back home after a long day’s work, sit in front of their smartphones whilst their nannies do the household chores, and kids are in another room having fun. Getting spanked does not help children identify inappropriate behaviour, nor does it teach them what they can do differently in similar circumstances in the future. When parents behave arrogantly with others what example are they creating for their children? Children will gradually pick up the same trait and behave in the same manner with others when they grow up.

I feel it is the responsibility of a parent to advise, and correct them when they do something wrong.  Conveying a timeout is effective for younger children while taking away privileges like television and smartphones tends to be effective for older children. Once children are old enough to fathom and converse with their parents, the key is to provide clear choices when they are behaving inappropriately and then to make it clear that any discipline that arises is due to them making the wrong choice.

If parents choose to spank their children, I can only hope that they do so with broken hearts rather than out of anger. To discipline out of anger makes the discipline more about the parent’s lack of emotional control rather than about teaching their children how to mature into well-functioning adults.

Do love your children, spank them when you’re supposed to spank them, do correct them, and scrutinise their movements. At the same time give them the freedom to do what they want. I am sure children will start respecting.

Mathew Litty,
Dubai