Getting help from others is not a stigma

According to mental health experts more than three quarters of students entering universities and colleges are mentally ill or develop mental health issues whilst they are in college.

I went to university in the mid-80s in the UK and I can vouch for the fact that none of my fellow students, including myself, had any mental health issues that I could see. No matter how rough things got during courses, I saw no one get drunk or high or angry or looked depressed because of it. Every student who was my friend or someone I knew by sight or someone I didn’t know seemed to be taking things in his or her stride and never once expressed any kind of anger or frustration or showed irritation about anything, even when they were kicked out of a class for arriving just two minutes late.

Apparently students going into college are suffering from, or will suffer from, a myriad of ailments. These include anger, depression, anxiety, extreme frustration and suicidal tendencies.

Now I don’t know if all this is a decade-related thing, I mean, when times were different in the 80s, 90s, and before, or whether it has something to do with the constant exposure to social media and their friends’ lives on display.

Many years ago the Chief Executive of the Agency I worked with suffered a major incident whilst waiting for a train to go home. The news went round the agency that he had been mugged but to our horror the incident was misreported in that it was not a mugging at all but something much worse than that. He had been knifed multiple times in the stomach and neck by a youth who jumped out of a toilet on the platform. We later learned that the attacker had been suffering from some kind of mental illness. When the Chief Executive came back to work, colleagues asked how he was coping and if he was seeing a therapist to deal with the trauma. The Chief replied that, in his day, he was 60 at the time, they did not see therapists to deal with problems. Folk just got on with living.

And I think that’s how things also were back in the 80s and 90s and before. I don’t recall anyone I know seeing a psychiatrist or therapist or even a coach to deal with life’s ups and downs or to guide them.

But that’s not say that one should not see a therapist or any mental health professional when it becomes clear that you, or someone you know, can’t manage or can’t control themselves. When it becomes clear that the actions of an individual in close proximity to others is adversely impacting the lives of those around him.

To me there’s a very grey area between someone with a screw loose and someone who is extremely angry. The adage in my head goes, ‘Is that person mad? Or just mad as hell’? I’m sure you’ll agree that the two are very different. Whereas in the former case we often assume that the person’s behaviour shows him to be mentally unstable, in the latter case we might assume that the person is very angry about something. Unfortunately, though, for most laypeople it’s very had to tell which is which. Is the person mad? Or just plain mad as hell?

Therefore, it is at this juncture that help should be sought. If you can’t be sure which of the two states of mind the individual in question is in, then it’s best not to assume anything. Such assumptions can be dangerous and can lead to the wrong reaction by those around the individual. This, in turn, will lead to an exacerbation of the individual’s condition. Yes, being mad, excuse the bluntness, is a condition and so too is being so angry that someone can’t control their anger. Both states are dangerous to the individual and to those around him.

Unfortunately, many laypeople, especially the old-fashioned kind do nothing, hoping ‘a change of scenery’ or some kind of change in the home might help. Or the person will get better on their own, In other words, for all their thinking, they do absolutely nothing about it even though they, and those around the individual, are suffering to no end, being driven insane. This in itself is not normal by today’s standards.