Are you in search of a ‘lost friend’?

I just realised what a huge technological gap there is between the university graduates of the last 10 years and those from when I was at university.

The graduates of today are naturally more tech orientated than those of my generation. I don’t mean that we don’t know how to use a laptop, tablet or a smartphone. What I mean is that many in my generation are reluctant to use them for anything other than a simple means of communication via a phone call or text message, or even that.

I’ve recently had the sudden urge to try and reconnect with my ‘lost friends’ from the universities I attended in England. And of all the friends I had in both universities combined, I have only been able to find and connect with about nine friends in total from the universities and just my best friend from school who, sadly, passed away two years ago from a heart condition. I searched for her for a long time but it was she who found me. One day I received a Facebook message from her asking if I went to the same school as her and if I was in her class.

I know that it’s probably easier to find friends with unusual or unique names, and probably far easier to find male friends than female ones because the latter often change their names when they marry. So if your friend’s name was Jane Smith at school, she could be going by Jane Brown. At the time she contacted me my friend Julie was then going by her married name and that’s probably why I could not find her.

But I have also discovered that it’s even harder to find a friend whose first name completely eludes you. Imagine having a friend at university and never knowing his full name because it was too difficult to pronounce. So everyone called him by his shortened name. For years I have searched in vain for this ‘lost friend’ using only that shortened name but have drawn a complete blank. I mean, of course it’s going to be impossible to find him if one doesn’t know his real name. Nevertheless it’s very frustrating and also somewhat bizarre that the university alumni association, or even the administration of the law department we were in, cannot find him on their register for the course we were on. There were only eleven of us on that course and only one of us went by an unpronounceable name. But in all fairness to alumni associations worldwide, they are only as good as the graduates who join them and become active members. Otherwise, the Alum will naturally come up with nothing.

And then I got to thinking that even if they did find my friend’s proper name, and now I’m pretty certain that it’s a very long shot, for all I know, he may not even be on social media. And one friend even said, it was a pity I couldn’t find him because, for all I know, he could have passed away! That is so true.

But not everyone uses LinkedIn and a lot of people loath Facebook for a number of reasons, especially the older generation.

Searching for both my alma maters on LinkedIn and Facebook has been interesting. There is a Facebook group for almost every aspect of university life. There are social groups, a freshers’ group and a counselling group, and even an “I’ll write your dissertation for you if you pay X amount’ group. In fact, I decided to search through Telegram and was equally astounded to learn of a similar ‘dissertation writing’ service group. I joined the Telegram group to see what was going on and if it was worth asking about my ‘lost friend’ but exited after a couple of days.

But I guarantee that many students, both past and present, will have a far easier time keeping in touch with each other and their lecturers after they graduate and move on. For me, even finding my former professors has not been easy. They’ve either retired, or they’re not on social media either or they’ve passed away.

Today’s university lecturers are all over social media. They’re on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. How fortunate are today’s students to be able to keep in touch with their professors without appearing intrusive. If we wanted to keep in touch with our lecturers back then, it would have meant them having to divulge their personal contact information. That wasn’t happening unless the lecturer was so well loved by all his students.

There is a moral to my story. If you have a good friend, make sure you get his or her full and proper full name. If the friend is a good friend, she or he will most likely give you their contact number. So while they’re at it perhaps ask them for an address too. And, of course, if they’re working, get a company name, none of which I did and I am annoyed with myself for not doing so.