Retail therapy is very poor advice

Psychologists think that retail therapy is the answer to all our problems. Whether we’re stressed, upset, angry or depressed, if we go out and buy ourselves something nice to wear, it will take away our pain.

This is so not true for pain that is really serious and cannot be resolved without drastic measures. If it can’t be resolved, no matter what you do to try and change it, then buying yourself something nice to wear is just not going to magically make you forget or resolve the problem.

But that’s what psychologists think, don’t they? That if you go out shopping for clothes you’re going to forget all your troubles? I’m sorry but that’s simply not true, unless you are so fickle that your troubles are like those of teenagers who think they don’t like the acne on their faces or that their teeth aren’t perfect or that they can’t get that mobile phone they wanted because it’s out of stock.

In fact, when I go on the many Facebook groups, of which I am a member, I am appalled and galled at the level of insanity in the posts that many of the girls make. It actually disgusts me that I have to read about them lamenting about nail bars being closed or posts about how they can’t get a particular hairstyle now (photos also included) because the stylist she knew has gone (followed by a weeping face emoji). Or her boyfriend doesn’t pay attention to her or where can she go for a brunch with her friends because the one she frequented is now closed (also followed by a weeping face emoji).

Yes with troubles such as that, of course a quick bout of retail therapy is going to work wonders! People who wail about troubles such as these are fickle-minded and, to be perfectly honest, very fortunate that the worst thing they have to worry about is their hair and nails being off.

I think psychologists who recommend retail therapy are not only doing a disservice to every person who has real problems but also a disservice to their own profession. What they should be doing is helping the person sort through their problems.

If someone has lost their home, for example and they are, understandably, depressed about it, will buying new clothes help their state of mind? No. If they are always physically ill or one of their family members is, will buying clothes make them feel better? I don’t think so. If someone is being mentally or physically abused, I am absolutely certain that going out and buying a tonne of expensive clothes is not going to go down well with the abuser. Moreover, if a family is generally in constant turmoil over really serious things in life, will buying stuff make any of those family members happier? I don’t think so.

 I speak from experience of having troubles and the last thing I want to do is hand over my hard-earned savings to a shop for things I’ll never wear or have a place to store. In fact, I would prefer to do the exact opposite.

I would either sell what I am not using, or haven’t worn in years, or donate them. That might make me feel happier. I am not saying it will definitely make me feel better but surely advising someone to spend more money to feel better is terrible advice? Especially since they may not have money to burn.

I am very saddened to read that suggestions such as retail therapy are bandied about because it minimises the real problems some people have in their lives.

But you know what? I think that psychologists are making these suggestions based on their observations. They might have observed someone feel better after they’d gone and emptied their bank account, and yes, for some people who are not savers, even buying an expensive dress or suit results in their accounts being almost empty to the point that they need a loan to pay off utility bills. Furthermore, such therapy is transient. It might make a person feel better for a day, or two days, until the high of buying wears off and then they’re back to that same state of mind that led them to spend in the first place. So, are psyches recommending that a cycle be started? A cycle of feeling bad, buying clothes, feeling better, feeling bad again and buying clothes again and feeling better again, etc.?

If anyone thinks this is good advice, please do tell me.