I worry that I should never have put my kids on social media

Charlotte Cripps, The Independent

Carrie Johnson doesn’t stop posting images of her kids on Instagram — and neither do I. She has just had another baby with the former PM Boris Johnson. I’ve already seen little Frank on Carrie’s Insta feed — and he’s only a few weeks old.

She wrote: “A week of Frankie (red heart emoji). Welcome to the world Frank Alfred Odysseus Johnson born 5 July at 9.15am. (Can you guess which name my husband chose?!) She added: “Now, can anyone recommend any good series/box sets to binge while breastfeeding?” That’s quite a personal comment — but good for Carrie!

I get it. Like all “Insta mums”, Carrie is a proud parent and wants to show her kids off. There’s Wilfred and Romy by the sea at Kimmeridge Bay on blustery British summer day; Wilfred hugging Romy surrounded by daisies; pregnant Carrie in the tall grass showing off her baby bump while holding Romy as if she is starring in a Timotei advert. The problem is, Carrie — you and Boris can’t have it both ways. None of us can. The former PM has, in the past, seemed unwilling to answer questions about his public and private life — including about how many children he has. Before he had kids with Carrie, Boris even complained to the press watchdog over his kids’ privacy intrusion.

So when it comes to the question of whether we should be posting images of our kids online, I’m torn. People might say there is nothing wrong with posting images of your kids on Instagram if you want to. But there are real risks in sharing your children’s information or identity online — like a child’s date of birth or location — because of fraud or identity theft. I think us parents should have other considerations, too. Posting pictures of our children without their consent could set them up for embarrassment later in life. Before posting, we should be thinking: have we asked our children’s permission? And if not (or they’re too little to understand what we’re asking), why do it at all?

Carrie does tend to hide her children’s faces in the posts (something I, admittedly, don’t do). We only see the back of their heads on her account. But it doesn’t stop us from being voyeurs of her children’s lives and (arguably) invading their privacy. Why doesn’t she just set her account to private? I’m trying not to judge Carrie. I can’t: like her, my Insta feed is bursting with picture-perfect photos of my kids and my golden retriever frolicking in the sun and rain — even videos of them singing a kiddy version of the Cyndi Lauper song “Trolls just want to have fun”. I have posted every birthday party they’ve ever had online — including snaps of them dressed up in mermaid outfits or riding ponies.

I may shy away from documenting the bad moments: the meltdowns and grubby clothes covered in food debris. But seeing Carrie posting pictures of her family has made me question why I do it at all. I recently had a wake-up call after I posted a totally innocent and enchanting photo of my two daughters, four and six, hugging our fluffy dog as they got ready for bed.

After a couple of “likes” from family and friends, it got taken down by Instagram. It hadn’t crossed my mind it was dodgy. Their grandmother told me to watch what I posted online; that it could be misinterpreted — and she was right. I’m not sure it’s such a great idea to post photos of kids online — especially if you are in the public eye. Yet my children — like Carrie’s — are already out there, and so I’m not going to moan about it. I can’t ask my kids yet what they want as they are too young to understand the implications of being pictured online.

Seeing Carrie’s candid posts does make me question what I’m doing — but the truth is, it’s too late for me to turn back now.