Managing anxiety is indeed very hard at times

Anxiety is one of life’s little gifts that, unfortunately for some, just keeps on giving.  Anything can trigger it off. It can be someone’s illness, a new job, an old job, a move to another home or another country, something someone said or didn’t say and something someone did or didn’t do. It can be a marriage problem or any relationship problem whether with a friend or a sibling. It can be brought on during exam times or even afterwards when you are waiting for the results to come out. Basically, anxiety can be brought on by any and all factors that affect us in our daily lives.

But some people are better able to handle anxiety than others. I think it’s because they are able to manage their thought processes better than those who are prone to being anxious about every little thing. Some people can often blow things out of proportion in their heads even though they do not have all the facts to hand.

These are the kinds of people who think of the worst-case scenario where anything is concerned. Everything is a complete and utter disaster or at its worst. For example, if they have a mild cold they will automatically jump to the illogical conclusion that they might have some kind of lung disease. Or if they have a headache, their minds will automatically race to a tumour diagnosis even though there is no evidence for it. These people are not hypochondriacs, at least not always, but they will take a simple, everyday ailment and convert it to something major.

Then there are those people who take one bad event and translate it to every other experience in their lives. They think that if X did something back then, A, B and C are also likely to do it now or at a later stage. Sometimes they’re right, but sometimes they’re not.

Some people’s anxiety is brought on by the fact that they’re just negative thinkers. In their minds everything that can go wrong will go wrong. The positive side never crosses their minds.

Managing anxiety is both an external issue as well as an internal one. Yes, anxiety is not always imagined. It is indeed brought on by things that are happening around you. And those things should, by no means, be diminished because they are real and important. But the way you handle it internally is how you will manage your anxiety.

Ask yourself one question, how bad can a situation or outcome get? What is the worst that can happen? And I mean in relation to everyday things like meetings with your bosses or a family relationship issue or starting a new job or waiting for an exam result.

If you understand and visualise the worst that can happen you might be able to prepare for it better. If you have a meeting with your supervisor about an issue, think about what the worst-case scenario is likely to be. He might reprimand you. Prepare to be reprimanded and you’ll not be anxious because you are expecting it.

Experts believe there are several ways to alleviate your anxiety. To be honest, I also get anxious and I do have to question the merits of any of the advice given. I personally do not think anything works if you have internalised the events that have led to the anxiety. Someone once told me to breathe. I’m breathing all the time! Actually they said, take deep breaths and exhale when you are feeling stressed or anxious about something. That doesn’t work for me.

Some suggest munching on a chewing gum but that just sounds very silly to me. When people see someone upset or anxious about something, the first thing they do is get them some water to drink. Maybe to cool them down? I don’t know. I never found drinking water helped me in the middle of a serious situation. But going for a walk does help, to some extent, and the best place to do it is inside a shopping mall because you can go into a shop and try to distract yourself by looking at the merchandise.

But above all else, the one thing that does help is talking to someone. Whether it’s someone you know or a complete stranger. Talking to someone about what is making you anxious has a two-fold effect. It first lets you get things off your chest. And secondly, if you may have blown things out of proportion in your mind, then the person to whom you are speaking may be able to give you a rational alternative that may make you less anxious.