Red coconut

Electioneering is fun, always. And in India it is colourful too. The campaigns include politicians, actors, actresses, singers, cricketers, footballers and, of course, some seasoned opportunists. 

The huge mix throws up interesting happenings. Permit me to share the experiences of two morally sound candidates. They spoke to me about them some years ago.

‘It is my red hot weapon to combat politicians who embrace lies to further their goals…’

Candidate 1 :

Being a Bengali he had seen all kinds of coconuts. But what totally surprised him was the colour of the coconut he was offered at the meeting we plan to discuss. It was red. It was served to him after he was done with the day’s election campaign. He was contesting the West Bengal Assembly election.

He made it a point to find out the mystery behind the red colour.

He asked his host from where did he get the coconut.

The coconut was green, but the host had decided to paint it red. The candidate asked him what was the idea behind the whole exercise.

He was told emphatically that after winning some contestants tend to ignore their voters. They go as far as not recognising their supporters. “If something like that happens to me then I shall say I am the same guy who made you drink the red coconut water,” the smart villager told the candidate leaving a huge group of people in splits. “It is my red hot weapon to combat politicians who embrace lies to further their goals,” the supporter added.

Candidate 2:

A man, who remained a member of the West Bengal Assembly for 15 years or so, lost his seat to a candidate who had totally personalised his campaign. He went around the constituency telling the voters at every rally that though the sitting member claimed to be a Muslim, in reality he wasn’t. This worked up the predominantly Muslim electorate. When asked why was it so? The rookie said because the sitting member had not undergone the physical change that is mandatory for all Muslim males.

Initially people laughed at the allegation, but ultimately it paid off. The new contestant won the seat. It is believed by many that months after the election, the defeated candidate admitted to some close friends that he actually couldn’t think of a way to prove in concrete terms that the charge was totally wrong. He grudgingly conceded that the assault was downright cheap, but watertight.

We are now looking forward to many more happenings as millions of Indians prepare to vote on April 19. The exercise will continue for six weeks. The voters will have a new dispensation by the first week of a scorching June.