If you’re stressed, never let it be known at work

Stress is a way of life. Everyone has stress and the only differences are the types of stress, their intensity and the degrees to which they affect you. We deal with stress in different ways. Some like to take walks, to walk them off. Some like to relax in a coffee shop taking in the ambience and watching the world go by. Some like to listen to music or watch a movie. Some read their scriptures whereas others like to talk about it. Talking about it is good. You can talk to friends. You can talk to family. And you can talk to complete strangers but not in a creepy way, of course. Talking is good but we have to be very careful that we don’t talk to the wrong people about it. Yes, friends and family are great in some ways. Yes they may judge you but not in the same way as, say, a stranger might or your co-workers.  Yes, the workplace is a very important place. It’s where your sustenance comes from. So do you think it’s safe to tell your co-workers or your supervisor that you’re under stress? No. Whilst you might feel that it’s a burden that’s been lifted from your shoulders because someone else knows, be very aware that if you keep harping on about how highly stress at work you are, you might find that your colleagues may begin to dislike you because you’re always complaining and your bosses might think that you are incompetent and a ticking time bomb. Moreover, constantly telling people, or even insinuating, that you have a lot of stress is sometimes considered bragging, like you’re the only one in the office who could ever possibly have work related stress in your life. It’s a little bit like saying, ‘I’m very busy’ to another co-worker or a supervisor. They won’t take it kindly because, I guarantee, they too are busy.

Your intent, when speaking about your stress levels with your colleagues or co-workers, may be to garner help or sympathy or just plain appreciation. But you may inadvertently create another issue for yourself that you hadn’t foreseen and which is likely to only add to your stress.

 Constantly ‘bragging’, and you might not be doing that, has other repercussions that bosses won’t appreciate. By emphasising that you are stressed, you may inadvertently be opening the door for other colleagues to begin talking about their stress levels too. You’ve normalised it and, thus, let the floodgates open. But there’s another bigger issue that could directly affect you in the opposite way that you’d intended.

Many years ago, when I worked in London, a colleague of ours would always be running to the Chief Executive’s office telling him that her stress levels were through the roof because of the amount of work she had to do. There are many colleagues who are often seen as Empire Builders and she was a classic example of one. Her intent and hope was for the Chief Executive to hear about her stress and alleviate it by allowing her to hire more staff for her department. But is this what he did? No.

In the next management meeting, he made an announcement, which gave me a nasty shock too because it directly affected me! Instead of hiring more staff for her, he split her department in half and gave one half to me to manage. When he made that announcement, I thought to myself, ‘oh no…’ not because I couldn’t handle it but because I knew what she was like. Half her department was gone! When I looked up from my notes at the other managers, they were all giving me that look of concern for me. We could all look at each other and say things without saying anything. They all knew what she was like too.  Moral of this story, and article? If you’re stressed, never let it be known at work. Not with words or with your actions. Whatever your reasons are, trust me, it could backfire on you. If you need to talk about it, talk to a stranger, your spouse, sibling or parent. But never ever say it at work