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Blaming everything on technology and social media is very easy. You see something unpleasant, blame social media. You read something that riles you up, blame X or Facebook. Your kid is behaving badly, sure, go ahead and blame the tablet they have. Wait, hang on…you gave your kid a tablet, now they’re having nasty outbursts and so you’re blaming that very tablet that you gave them? Apparently, according to child psychologists, more than 22% of children who spend an extra hour a day on these devices are more likely to have an outburst. Are parents and experts using these devices as scapegoats for their own failings?

Children were throwing tantrums long before we had smartphones and tablets. Back in the 90s, when there weren’t even mobile phones, I used to see countless toddlers throwing fits right in the middle of shopping centres. It was probably something they wanted from one of the shops but couldn’t get. I’d see parents handling this behaviour by ignoring the child and walking away to teach him that his outburst wasn’t going to get him what he wanted. They knew back then that eventually the child would stop and join them. That is the way to do it.

What happens today? Nowadays a child is handed a tablet as a distraction. I was shocked to learn recently that many parents across the world are homeschooling their children because they don’t like the prerequisite that schools have that every child must have a device. I remember talking about the issues surrounding smartphones in the hands of irresponsible children so I am a little baffled that these things are a requirement now. Do they not remember what it was like for us when we were children? We lived without devices and were well adjusted children. Sure we gave our parents anxiety but then all children do.

That being said, I do believe that these devices are to blame but not entirely. Parents and guardians are also a huge, if not a bigger, factor in children’s bad behaviour than those tablets. Why give a child under 5 a tablet to occupy himself? You then take it away, the child throws a tantrum so you give it back. This is the cycle that is being repeated over and over again. Unfortunately, many guardians, and I’m not saying it's just parents, I’m referring to nannies as well, who are charged with taking care of children but do not. I’ve seen parents encourage children to behave badly in public places. I rarely see a parent or a nanny scold a child for their rudeness or for doing something, or for going somewhere they are not supposed to. In fact, to my horror, I’ve seen parents behave like children as well.

So has it ever occurred to these experts that perhaps they’re picking up their bad behaviour from a parent or guardian? And if they’re not picking it up from them, then they are continuing their behaviour because it’s going unchecked. If, as a parent, you believe that your child’s tantrums, outbursts, fits, whatever you wish to call it, are caused by the tablet you handed them, then the solution is quite simple. If the child is required to have the device at school, that you cannot control, but the very least you can do to help your child is by not giving them access to it when they are with you.

Make it a rule that if they watch something, they watch it on TV. If they read something, they pick up a real book. If they want to play a game, then they need to go outside. I have to be honest, there are many things schools are doing that are wrong. Nowadays, schools don’t know everything. Children in schools are taught by teachers most of whom never sat real exams, case in point the GCSEs in the UK. Who says that a child can’t be taught unless he or she has a device? If that is the case, I wonder how I ever got my degree. I had no laptop, no phone; only a library card system to find what I was looking for, and I got my degree.