Trying to stand upright in lopsided times

Debra-Lynn B. Hook, Tribune News Service

I surveyed my friends recently to find out what they’re doing to stay sane. “Screaming into a paper bag,” said a friend who lives near Capitol Hill in Washington.

“Staying away from the news,” said another friend.

“Who said I’m sane?” said another.

As a massive reassembling of the US government by President Donald Trump knocks the planet off-kilter, many of us are challenged to find solid footing. “My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane,” so reads the meme making the rounds. While this is decidedly applicable for those who disagree with the executive orders the president has signed since Jan. 20, regardless, we are all having to adapt to a major philosophical shift. Regardless of where you sit on the political spectrum, the disruption is extreme as whole agencies and workers are dismissed, as the country’s longtime support for humanitarian causes and worldwide democracy is replaced by a focus on isolationism and self-interest to the extreme.

Some of us applaud the president’s sweeping orders, affecting everything from international tariffs to personal identity, even as chaos ensues in their application, and the constitutionality of some of the orders is being challenged by federal lawsuits.

Others, like my daughter’s former high school friend Becca are blatantly disillusioned and looking for something to hold onto. “I’ve started focusing on small things I can do to help my community,” this wise 33-year-old told me. “The biggest thing has been volunteering with a Denver nonprofit called A Little Help that accepts requests from older adults for help with small things around the house — shoveling, rides to the store and doctors’ appointments. I’ve helped a woman a few streets down keep her driveway clear of snow so she can get to and from doctor appointments. I helped a man who had a stroke untangle and organise a bunch of tech equipment, and I got to learn about his incredibly interesting life and world travels. I’m taking a wonderful lady to Barnes & Noble next week.

It has helped me get out of my head and off my phone and into the streets, so to speak, and it’s a welcome distraction from the daily news cycle. It’s overwhelming to think about changing things on a federal level, but if I can make a neighbour’s day and support people who are already vulnerable, that feels like a good place to start.”

Like Becca, many who answered my casual text and Facebook queries said they are holding steady by limiting their exposure to the constant news — which, BTW, does not make them bad citizens, especially when there is so much of it. “When humans face information overload, they become passive and disengaged,” wrote sociologist Jennifer Walter in a directive that two people sent me. “The rapid-fire executive orders create a cognitive bottleneck, making it nearly impossible for citizens and media to thoroughly analyse any single policy. When multiple major policies compete for attention simultaneously, it fragments public discourse. Traditional media can’t keep up with the pace, leading to superficial coverage.” For those who feel that activism in the traditional sense is the responsible thing to do, Walter suggests narrowing one’s focus to two or three causes. Find trusted analysts to follow patterns, not just events. Take breaks from work that might include making donations, community organising, protests, writing letters to the editor and calling representatives. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so the saying goes. Others told me the only way they can maintain equilibrium is by taking the opposite tack. No political engagement for them; they are focused on staying close to friends and family, partaking in creative and community activities, meditating, praying and being kind to others.

“With every piece of news that plunges me to despair, I counteract to the best of my ability by reaching out to friends, family members and strangers in the grocery store, with kindness and help,” said my friend Susan, a retired nurse and grandmother of two. “I’ve started painting again, baking sourdough, and joining a drumming community. I am reading actual books, sharing poetry with friends. I’m doing anything that makes me feel the warmth of being alive and loving to my fellow humans.”

“Just being true to my values and views right now, especially in my community, makes me feel all is not lost,” echoed my South Carolina friend M.E., a nurse practitioner and mother of three young children. This is activism, too, said my psychologist friend Holly in Ohio. “The highest vibrational activism is activism for the good of all,” Holly texted me. “Certainly supporting and nurturing community comes from this beautiful, heart-centered place. Too much activism is reactionary and comes from places of fear and anger. Activism that most deeply benefits the world, I believe, is about love, healing and justice for all.” My friends said finding purpose, meaning, joy and beauty is as important as ever in this moment. Among the ways they get there: They pray for our country, our leaders and the world. They “dance around the house” and sing, They read web sites that focus on positive news like goodnewsnetwork.org and awaken.com. They help with community dinners at church. They vent with others and then talk about what they’re doing to feel better. They adjust their computer browser to open to a blank page, instead of news.

For my purposes, I engage in traditional activism when I can, calling my representatives and making donations to causes. As much as anything, I stay close to my family and away from the voices that trigger me in an unhelpful way, whether on the news or social media. I turn instead to the voices of reason and reflection that tell us there is more to the story in front of us, a deeper vision, other antidotes and outcomes to consider.

“Watch the birds in the wind,” posted Steven Charleston recently, a Native American elder and former Episcopal bishop of Alaska who makes inspirational statements on his Facebook page every day. “They do not fly into the currents, beating their wings to exhaustion as they move against the flowing tide, but instead they spread their wings and hover, gliding on the air without effort, riding the thermals, looking for the time and place to come down easily. Watch the birds. They are teaching us.”

Said my friend Jeff, the one who screams into paper bags:

“I try to be kind to everyone, even those I vehemently disagree with. I remind myself that we’ve lived through tumultuous times before. I remind myself to be grateful for all that I have and to remember there are many people here and around the globe who are in worse circumstances. I read books, watch movies and cheer for my teams. I keep myself informed through credible sources. I applaud the efforts of everyone fighting back against tyranny and oppression. And I express my beliefs, respectfully, without fear of repercussions.